Module 7 Mentor

Many people have been fortunate enough to find people who were willing to invest in their lives, to share the benefit of their wisdom and experience, and to help connect with their networks. What has been your experience with mentoring? Has a mentor helped you climb to where you are now? Have you given a hand to someone?

Prompt: The Power of Mentoring

Blog about an important mentor you have had in your life. Alternately, blog about how you have changed through mentoring someone else.

Submit the link/url to your blog by selecting Submit Assignment. For guidance on using Canvas ePortfolio, review the Reflection Blog Assignments page.

The Power of Mentoring

Blog about an important mentor you have had in your life. Alternately, blog about how you have changed through mentoring someone else.

What exactly is mentorship? You may be asking yourself that question. The majority of us have heard to seek out a mentor, but what does that really mean? Does that mean that someone takes you under their wing for an extended period of time, a lifetime even? 

We often see mentorship in movies, such as in Karate Kid. One person shows another person the ropes...how to perform certain skills, for example (i.e. training). However, mentorship comes in many forms - yet they are all different forms of teaching. Some forms of mentorship can be to provide solutions when you do not see them yourself. Other times it could be that you just need a dose of reality, a kick in the butt, and a bit of advice such as when Rafiki gives Simba advice in The Lion King. 

But, how is this different from coaching? Well, mentorship again is direct training and teaching, usually for someone lesser experienced than the mentor in the field or subject at hand. This can even be within the workplace where a mentor might show a mentee the ways and culture of a corporation. Whereas coaching is helping someone with their thinking without directly providing solutions - good coaching draws on the critical thinking process and principles by asking good questions. This could be helping a corporate executive understand alternative ways and means for dealing with outside entities, different corporate branches, and even colleagues within the organization itself.

One important thing to note is that not all mentorship relationships work out - they are not one size fits all. A mentee could technically learn from a bad mentorship relationship, as in how not to lead, which indirectly produces similar results to mentorship performed by a good mentor (Eby et. al, 2010). But, I would argue that finding an optimal pairing is important for the longevity and long-term effectiveness of any mentorship relationship. Ramalho (2014) writes, "when it comes to mentoring, chemistry and rapport between the mentor and mentee are crucial ingredients for success. Identifying individuals who share similar interests or whose experience and skill set complement the objectives of another, is a key part of this process." 

For myself, I have had many mentors throughout my life, some short-term and some long-lived. One person who has stood out as a mentor of mine is Joe, a contractor at one of my previous military assignments. Joe is a retired Master Sergeant in the Air Force, and although over fifty years old at the time, he respected my position as an officer in charge and allowed me to make decisions. He knew that I was a brand new, know-little, twenty-three year old second lieutenant in the Air Force, but he still let me fail.

Initially, I was taken back by the fact that an organization full of extremely smart individuals with two to three times the amount of life experience I had would allow me to call the shots, but they did. But, during all of this, Joe was watching my every move - he watched me on my good and bad days, every decision I made, and how I carried myself both on and off the clock. He noticed when I showed up late, when I was indecisive, when I was too proud to seek help, when I bottled my issues, when I gossiped about others, and when I had a bad attitude. 

A couple things I remember Joe saying are..."people are always looking up to you as the officer in charge, whether you believe it or not" and that "attitude reflects leadership." He told me that whenever I had a bad attitude, that everyone else around me would have a bad day too - so he recommended that I try to be more positive each and every day. He also said that even though I was just in my early twenties that my role as an officer doesn't care about age. He provided several coaching sessions for me where he asked me questions about life, leadership, and also technical material regarding skills for the job. He did his best to teach me how to fish before being too quick to give any answers.

Joe trained me in the skills I needed to become a successful military officer...from teaching me how to build briefings, how to speak, how to make certain points, how to get to know my people, and how to make things fun. He taught me that life is for the here and now - he made me realize that saving all my money is a mistake if at the expense of not flying home to spend holidays with loved ones or if not buying the engagement ring that my wife would absolutely love. In fact, his advice for that ring was that the purchase "should hurt." And it did. But it was worth it, because my fiancée wears her ring proudly every single day.

When I began work at my first assignment with the Air Force, I thought I was smarter than most people because I had a college degree from a top institution, and there cadets are frequently told that they are the best and brightest. I neglected to take advice because I had a big ego; I also hardly asked for help. Eventually, Joe imparted some wisdom on me and allowed me to become humble enough to admit that I did not know everything at the time, and that other people with their own experiences are just as valuable as myself. He helped me realize that, as a leader, my role was to leverage the strengths of others, to inspire others, and to invigorate the culture and climate of the organization. 

In fact, during my initial year with the unit I was incredibly self-centered and just completely selfish when it came to awards. I would submit myself for awards in every category claiming that I was a great leader even though I hardly left my office or made really significant impacts. After that year, I did not garner much respect from the troops working for me. It wasn't until I changed my tune after several talks with Joe that I began to see things differently. I started submitting awards packages for everyone but me - this meant the top junior, middle, and senior enlisted awards, the volunteer and team awards, and the special awards. We ended up sweeping for three months straight, except for the junior officer category. Throughout the year I won one quarterly award.

But, one night I was closing up the building on my way home at 5 pm in order to set the example of a good work-life balance...and noticed the conference room light was still on. I opened the door just to grab the light switch, but the room was full of senior enlisted...Master Sergeants. I told them, in a friendly manner, that it was time to go home because it was 5 pm, but they said, "no, Sir, we got it - don't worry about it." I replied saying that I wanted to help however I could so we could all go home. Again they said not to worry about it, and I replied, "ok, don't stay too late." The next morning I came to my desk...and on the keyboard were pristine, completely filled out awards packages for the junior officer of the year award and the information dominance award for the junior officer category. Every single statement was incredibly well-written and overly-polished. That morning I was stunned...and each one of those individuals said, "hey, Sir, you had our back so we got yours." I ended up winning both awards...and truthfully, I credit my change in leadership style to my deep conversations and mentorship sessions with Joe.

Joe is a mentor to me as well as a coach. He helped me reach goals by helping me with my thinking and keeping me accountable. He provided guidance, wisdom, and, honestly, a love for me. He invested tons of time and energy into me. He introduced me to new people professionally, socially (church and other friends), and took me into his family like a son. He let me crash their Thanksgiving dinner, he invited me to work on building houses, and he taught me how to be a professional.

In a way, Joe became a father figure to me whether our conversations were about relationships, religion, the military, sports, or life in general...he was my counsel and took me under his wing. He let me fail and helped me get back up and try again. He took me from young and dumb to older and smarter. He turned me into the leader I am today. Joe still gives me advice to this day, and I cherish our relationship. I owe a lot to him, and I know the best thing I can do is to pay it forward. In my eyes, Joe is more than just a mentor, he is a lifesaver - and I am proud to call him my friend. He is my Denzel Washington...(see video below!).

Best wishes on your mentorship journey,

Chad

References:

Boseman, C. (2019, June 21). Chadwick Boseman Tribute to Denzel Washington | AFI 2019 | TNT [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/LUoKRScpaVs

Eby, L. T., Butts, M. M., Durley, J., & Ragins, B. R. (2010). Are bad experiences stronger than good ones in mentoring relationships? evidence from the protégé and mentor perspective. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 77(1), 81–92. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2010.02.010  

Ramalho, J. (2014). Mentoring in the workplace. Industrial and Commercial Training, 46(4), 177-181. https://doi.org/10.1108/ICT-11-2013-0078