Module 3 Emotional Intelligence: Getting Results!

Reflection Blog: Emotional Intelligence: Getting Results!

Watch the two videos on emotional intelligence by Dr. Daniel Goleman.  In the first video, Goleman describes the four dimensions of EI: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social skills.  In the Ted Talk, Goleman focuses on self awareness and social awareness through the lens of compassion.

After watching the videos, develop a reflection blog that focuses on the four EI dimensions.  Discuss how each of these applies to you, which represent your strengths and what areas that you may need to develop. Share how the EI dimensions have helped or hindered you in your performance and/or career.

Submit the link/URL to your blog. For guidance on completing this assignment and using Canvas ePortfolio, review the Reflection Blog Assignments page.

Daniel Goleman Introduces Emotional Intelligence (YouTube/05:31)Links to an external site.

Daniel Goleman: Why aren't we more compassionate? (TED/13:10)

Links to an external site.

Emotional Intelligence: Getting Results!

The Four Emotional Intelligence (EI) Dimensions (Goleman, 2012):

1) Self-awareness (moral compass, knowing what we're feeling and why, good intuition, good decision making)

2) Self-management (handling distressing emotions in effective way so they don't cripple you, can tune to learn what you must, marshalling positive emotions, aligning actions with passions, getting involved)

3) Empathy/Social Awareness (knowing what someone else is feeling)

4) Skilled Relationships/Social Skill

    The EI dimensions represent four specific facets that compose one's EQ. By doing this, Goleman (2012) suggests that EQ can be broken down and taught. In fact, Goleman (2012) articulates that traditional intelligence (IQ) is going up over time, but EQ is not following suit (e.g., divisive groups, technology overtaking interpersonal connections, and familial disputes). Moreover, he states that "the part of the brain that supports emotional and social intelligence is actually the last circuitry of the brain to become anatomically mature, and because of neuroplasticity, the brain shapes itself according to repeated experiences" (Goleman, 2012). While he admits that there are cultural nuances and subtleties across the world (e.g., Japanese culture versus the United States'), Goleman (2012) argues that "the fundamentals are the same" and that skill development at an early age in schools can reduce anti-social behavior, to include disruption in class, and can boost academic and social achievement. Furthermore, Goleman (2007) claims that "there is zero correlation between IQ and emotional empathy...they're controlled by two different parts of the brain." Therefore, a lack of targeted development for EI skills could correspond to the lagging of EQ compared to IQ's upward trajectory as a species. 

       EQ versus IQ (Hudson-Searle, 2015)

    Emotional Intelligence is unique compared to traditional intelligence (IQ) which means that it requires different skills and outlook. While IQ has long been useful and sought after for pattern recognition, critical thinking, scientific know-how and breakthroughs, it is not enough when it comes to being an effective leader (Hudson-Searle, 2015). McKee et al. (2008) highlight that it is a myth that being smart is good enough, and that "competencies related to emotional and social intelligence - not IQ, college degrees, or technical experience - are the single most important factors in distinguishing great leadership from average leadership" (p. 23). In fact, Goleman (2007) writes that "there is zero correlation between IQ and emotional empathy...they're controlled by two different parts of the brain." One of the biggest discoveries of his is that people tend to be selfish when it comes to interpersonal relations - that is that people are so internally-focused that they do not notice or care about the homeless they pass by on the way to work because they are busy, or that they tend to talk about themselves in a conversation rather than asking engaging, active listening questions; he alludes to some of this behavior as an "urban trance" (Goleman, 2007). 

    For myself, I believe that according to the four EI dimensions, I am strong and weak in different ways for each aspect. I am a very introspective person and reflect often, although not deliberately (i.e., I don't reflect as a daily routine/habit or use a journal or other formal method). I tend to reflect when I am isolated/alone and can be with my thoughts such as in the shower, in the car, or in bed. But I am critical on myself and think about my interactions over the course of my days and weeks. What I've noticed is that while I have a strong moral compass and can know what I'm feeling and why, I don't always have great self-management. I believe that I have sound critical thinking and analytical skills, but as I cross the spectrum from self-awareness into social interaction, I struggle at times. 
 
    Regarding self-management, I know that I am very good at handling stressful situations and can stay calm under pressure; perhaps this is due to my military training. However, I tend to bottle up emotions until a bursting point which can lead to sudden flashes of sadness, anger, etc. This does not happen a lot and people are often impressed out how patient and calm of a person I am, but I recognize that I need outlets to recalibrate and balance myself. Additionally, I can see that I need to put more effort into showing excitement, enthusiasm, passion, and positivity, and not be so reserved because I care what other people think; I should not be so timid and afraid to misstep, and instead show greater self-confidence. Though, this should come from a genuine source, in my opinion. Moreover, this can help in general overall well-being. Baudry et al. (2018) write that "intrapersonal dimensions, and especially emotion regulation, have stronger effects on health than interpersonal dimensions." Self-awareness and self-management are key to becoming personally strong enough to build greater effects and influence on social  relationships.

    Empathy and Skilled Relationships/Social Skill are skills that I've worked on over time and become much better at as I've matured. I used to be a hypercompetitive person that would view another person's misfortune as advantageous to myself. But I've realized that this attitude was unhealthy for myself, especially as I continued to see the so-called 'social butterflies' succeeding more than I was. I was upset and puzzled because I could say that my IQ-type skills like technical know-how were at a more advanced level than such social personalities, but they saw more career success (e.g., winning awards). I used to feel like this felt like favoritism, but over time I've learned that people do not like to work with jerks, no matter how smart they are. 

    After I matured and experienced rough patches like loss, heartbreak, and more, I grew more compassionate and empathetic. Once I stopped focusing internally, I began to strive to help others, especially on my team, as best I could. This meant that I worked to get them recognized, like writing award packages for them, putting them up in front of high-ranking officers, and more. I would listen to them say that they felt invisible and underappreciated, so those were some actions I took to get them to feel valued. I also tried to get to know them on more personal levels, and when something didn't go their way, such as not being promoted, I like to think that I was empathetic with them. But I find it fascinating that I didn't really develop this skill until I was met with misfortune in my own life. Perhaps that's why Goleman (2012) has a point in teaching EI in schools to develop these skills early. 

    What I find most interesting is that people with great social skill are great leaders, but are often not the smartest person in the room. But they are generally the most positive and inclusive - they are a glue, a ray of sunshine, and a bastion of hope. I've come to the realization that the more negative and critical I am on others, the less I see what is wrong with myself; this trends into a downward spiral and results in bad emotions like anger and aggression. Tsabedze et al. (2019) write that from their research results "adolescents with positive emotion self-perceptions reported lower levels of verbal, physical, and emotional aggression. Similarly, adolescents self-reporting to manage and utilize their own emotions well, were less likely to engage in verbal aggression. [Their] findings suggest that self-perceptions of emotion management capabilities could be helpful to counselling adolescents for risk of mood disorders." Considering all of this, it is important to recognize that it is critical to know and understand oneself and strive for positivity and good intention because self-awareness and self-management play vital roles in ones ability to empathize and form skilled relationships through strong social skill. Lastly, one should not believe that to be a great leader that they have to be the smartest person in the room - a great leader recognizes that everyone has strengths and limitations, including his or herself. By focusing on EQ and the four EI dimensions, a leader is undoubtedly going to be able to get results.

-Chad R.

References:

Baudry, A., Grynberg, D., Dassonneville, C., Lelorain, S., & Christophe, V. (2018). 
        Sub‐dimensions of trait emotional intelligence and health: A critical 
        and systematic review of the literature. Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, 
        59(2), 206–222. https://doi.org/10.1111/sjop.12424

Goleman, D. (2007). Why aren’t we more compassionate? Daniel Goleman: Why aren’t we more compassionate? | TED Talk. http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_goleman_on_compassion

Goleman, D. (2012, April 24). Daniel Goleman introduces Emotional Intelligence | Big think. YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7m9eNoB3NU

Hudson-Searle, G. (2015, November 23). The balance of IQ vs Eq, is it necessary?. Freedom after the sharks. https://freedomafterthesharks.com/2015/11/23/the-balance-of-iq-vs-eq-is-it-necessary/#

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. E., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader: 
        Develop your emotional intelligence, renew your relationships, sustain your 
        effectiveness. Harvard Business School Pub.

Tsabedze, W. F., Lawal, A. M., Maepa, M. P., & Pila-Nemutandani, R. G. (2019). 
        Emotional intelligence dimensions in facets of aggressive behaviour among 
        school adolescents. Journal of Psychology in Africa, 29(6), 625–629. 
        https://doi.org/10.1080/14330237.2019.1689464


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